1407 Graymalkin Lane

Wallace's Journal - Episode 1
Hogwart's It's Not

#NewSchool #Days1to5 – Forgot to write after I got here. Just notes for now. There are some older kids, and people from different countries. Some of these girls are cool, too, but there’s a weird vibe or something. Everyone looks at me like I’m crazy, or an idiot, but not for the usual reasons.

Roommate’s cool, though.

I think maybe the kids here are also all like me. Like, have powers. I’m gonna ask at the first chance I have that doesn’t make me look like a complete nutjob.

#NewSchool #Day6 – This place is huge.

I think maybe the kids here are also all like me. Like, have powers. I’m gonna ask at the first chance I have that doesn’t make me look like a complete nutjob.

#NewSchool #TheDaysThingWasStupid – Is it strange to feel lucky to be here, even though everyone thinks I’m an even bigger dork than the rednecks and jerks at my old school did? I mean some of these kids scare me, really, or freak me out because I know everything I say may be the wrong thing, but

It totally feels like something important is happening here.

I think maybe the kids here are also all like me. Like, have powers. I’m gonna ask at the first chance I have that doesn’t make me look like a complete nutjob.

#NewSchool HOLY. CRAP. This is it! We’re going to learn about our powers. We’ve all got powers! Ok, we’re mutants but I sorta guessed that. Wasn’t Namor a mutant? They called him that in some of the post-war comics, but those weren’t based on actual events. I wonder if I could find out for sure somehow.

Also. I don’t do scared straight. Do I know my life is, like, easier than alot of other people here? Yes! And I guess I needed a wake-up that not everyone sees stuff the same way I do. And their reasons totally make sense. Not everyone wants to put on a cool costume or whatever, but with the kinda power we have, that I have, it’s not just a cool game.

I can make a difference. A big one. This is totally superhero school, for me if not anyone else, costume optional.

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Samantha Augustine's Journal – Episode 1
My so called life

August 1st 2013

Someone once said, “When a door closes, a window opens”, or something like that. I’ve accepted an invitation to the Xavier School in upstate New York. I feel bad for my gymnastics coach as she was busting her butt to try and get me in at nationals for 2016 and this move probably ends that dream. I mean, maybe I can find someone as dedicated in New York but I get the feeling that isn’t the type of school I’m dealing with here.

I had to balance the gymnastics thing with the very real chance that this private school could get me into Juilliard. I could potentially go see stuff on Broadway. I had a tough decision. Auntie seemed pretty lucid and encouraged me to go. I thought hard about what mom would want. Despite how hard she pushed me, I think she did so to give me options. Mary Lou Retton or Kelly Clarkston? Well, assuming I’m good enough. I always thought I could do both, but I knew there was a good chance I’d have to pick. We’ll see but I’ve made my decision. Get ready New York for some Augustine flair!
August 20th 2013

Xavier school is in the middle of nowhere. Like, seriously no where. I think it’s a sensory depravation thing so that we focus on academics, but man so lame. The mansion itself is pretty but, yeah not a whole lot going on. I’ve met a few of the fellow students. I should probably jot down some information on them. It might be cool to look back later at first impressions for yearbook :)

Arni Bryansdaug Briansdotr (Icelandic name here): Arni is a quiet girl. She has a calmness to her and always seems to be reading in the library. I get the feeling she didn’t have many friends back home. She’s very polite and has a slight smile typically when I pass by her in the hall.

Logan Colter: Logan comes off very much like a jock. I heard him crying one night as if maybe he had a bad dream. I’d say he’s into me, but he seems to be into every girl that walks in the door so he’s kind of a horn dog :p He seems to be a little aloof, but I don’t think we’ve tried to include him much either. Should try and include him in on things.

Wallace Wachter: Wally (don’t call him that to his face, but he’s a Wally) is a crackup. He seems like he’s my age but acts about 2 years younger than that most times. Wide-eyed, excitable, nerdy but in a good way. He’s from Mississippi and boy is he. Idk if he’s had much outside world experience but he gives off a cool little brother vibe.

Piotr: Tall, dark, handsome and with a Russian accent. D’as Vidania! I think Arni’s into him, as I’ll catch her quietly watch him. He has a calm strength to him.

Remy LeBeau: Remy is an older student. I heard he was married already?! He’s worldly and seems like he’s been through a lot.

Sam Guthrie: Sam…hard working boy from Kentucky. He gets Sam, I get Sammy. It’s a done deal, less confusion. He’s easy on the eyes too…

Lidya Nicolov: My roomie. I thought she didn’t like me, but the more we interact the more I get the impression that she just doesn’t know how to react to the situation. Maybe that’s not fair, maybe she’s more calculating in everything she does. Like there’s an internal checklist or something. I like her, not sure if the feelings mutual just yet.

September 2013

Today was probably the worst day of my life! Just about everyone here is scary. I don’t really know what a genetic mutation is, but I’m not sure I’m safe. Victor, Aria, John all are intimidating as hell. I think I made the wrong choice.

I’m a mutant. At least that’s what Professor Xavier has said. This isn’t Jilliard, this isn’t the olympics, this is straight up hell. I thought maybe I was haunted or something, but he said that I’m the one doing all that stuff. I broke Julia Gehrity’s leg when she made fun of my singing in church, I caused Mr. Lyle’s pipes to burst after he yelled at my Aunt….

tear stained paper
OMG! When mom took my cell phone away I told her I never wanted to talk to her again! Did I give her cancer? I couldn’t have done that. I was just mad for like a day. I…

September 2013 (later)

I can’t accept that truth. I don’t know if I could live with myself. Being angry at god for taking away mom? Yeah. Being the one responsible isn’t something I can fathom. I’ve been through a lot today. I tried to make friends with someone who said they want to see me bleed. I apologized to my large furry blue teacher for freaking out at seeing him. I had two conversations in my head.

Thank god Lydia’s here. She told me that maybe this power was my mom’s last gift to me. Not sure I’d see it that way, but it does make me feel a little better. Everyone (well almost everyone, that Scott guy seemed pretty happy) shared a horrible story about their first manifestation of power. I feel drained.

Tomorrow I’m going to bike to one of the parks near here. I need to be alone for a while and try to process this.

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Aria Cirillo's Journal - Episode 1
Fucking Misfits

Clouds sweep the sky
Abandoned
Wheel
Open
Shattered

LIFE IS PAIN
LIFE IS CRUEL
FUCK THIS RAIN
AND FUCK HAIKU

I can’t believe Dad let me go. I mean I know Mom has a lot of pull with him but, I never thought he would let me free. Who am I kidding? He still owes Mom big after he got that bitch Erika a new car. I’d like to say that I’m going to miss seeing all of them, the little brats, and my snobby older familia, but I really haven’t been part of their live for a so long now. Fuck them! They are just like the rest. I’d never admit it but I am going to miss posing for Mom’s paintings. In those paints and stills I felt like I could see who I should have been. I haughty little bitch obsessed with her own tragic life. I’m better than that and wishing I’m something I’m not is just holding me back. Maybe now I can finally be me.

That was the longest car ride of my life. Gaetane wouldn’t even look at me. Fucking bitch. What does Dad see in her beyond tits and ass? And then all them looking at me. I could tell they had been their for a while, already settled in. I can’t help but see my brothers and sisters in them. It broke my heart a little to have to shut Arni down like a did. I have to keep them at a distance. I really just wanted to hug her. She was so honest and exuberant and didn’t judge me. It was like I had a chance to see Anna again. I could still see Anna if that bitch Erika would let us. A real mother wouldn’t stop her daughter from making friends with her step-sister. I was glad that I would be rooming with her. I knew from the moment I saw her she wouldn’t judge me. Serves me right for getting my hopes up. I know it wasn’t because of me, but I can honestly say I was a little disappointed when she moved downstairs.

Sammy, I so want to hate Sammy. I can’t though, I’m not that petty. I’ve known clothes horses like her before. Vapid little cunts that care only about their looks and the latest fashion and who likes who. She is so much better than that. I probably would have knocked her down a few pegs if she was really like that. I’ve don’t think I have ever seen a better fake out. Except maybe mine. And after the story about her Mom I can see why. Something, maybe that fucking mothering instinct people claim I have, makes me want to reach out to her. But why waste my time on someone as scared of themselves as that? Fuck it. I know why, because one of us. She is not one of them. Even a timid Master is better than a Slave.

Lydia on the other hand. Finally a kindred soul. We should mix like oil and water, but every time we interact I feel a little closer to her. Because she reminds me of my best friend from before That Day. Sandra and I were more than friends though. We shared a lot of firsts. We were very close. I don’t think that Lydia and I are ever going to be that close. Although I get the feeling she isn’t big into guys, and she is smoking hot in a cold-stone bitch type of way. But that would just be weird. I mean it isn’t like I turned down her offer to room together because I thought things might get awkward between us or anything. I mean she is fourteen for fuck’s sake. And a foreigner. And why the fuck do i try and make stupid excuses to myself when I know I can’t?

And then poor poor Logan. A guy like that should know to stick to his own peer group. The moment I saw him I knew he and Mario would get along great. Passing the a football in the backyard. Hanging out with the team. Having the cheer squad all over him. I’m not sorry about shutting that one down fast. I think for all that though we could be friends. I saw it from the moment he made his awkward introduction that there was something beyond that wholesome face. The crying in the night doesn’t help. I’m sure he will tell us in time. No one wants to carry such burdens alone. Not even me.

Reme on the other hand. Reme LeBeau. Reme le Beau. Reme the Lovely. Someone knew how to name them. Now there is guy I could spend some time with. And get lost in those eyes for a few hours. You can’t let on with guys like that though. Give them an inch, play less then hard to get, and you end up in the back seat of his mom’s SUV with your dress hiked up. I wander what ever happened to Derrick? They are probably still trying to get the cell phone out of his ass. He really should have called. You don’t go taking advantage of girl and then don’t call. Exspecially not when she can bench press a bus. I couldn’t help but think of a picture that Mom has of Dad from back before Dad found religion. Dad slouched on his motorcycle with that leather coat on. Dad is bit of a fuck up at times but he is good to Mom. When he isn’t off banging his other wives. I’m just going to take this one step at a time with Reme and see where it goes.

On the other extreme of emotions is Wallace. I can’t look at him without seeing Gio, and the look on his face just after I had hit him. I think that is why I lied to them all. Why I told them I did so much worse to him than i did. No. I can be honest hear. I lied to them because that is what I almost did. Had Dad not come out, Gio would be dead. Being around Wallace hurts, because he is so honest and so innocent. Poor guy is learning some hard lessons. He did the right thing though having us all tell our stories. Dumb thing he could have done. But I think we needed that.

Don’t even get me started on the staff. What a bunch of ignorant fuckers. Just because you are high and mighty in your own little world doesn’t mean you know shit about us. Xavier is the worst of them all. Guy can literally read our minds and yet he still treats me like I’m just going to explode on him. I know he can’t stop me if I put my mind to it. And if I cut loose willingly I’m not going to fucking stop. Fuck pretending to be human. I’m a mutant and I’m proud of it. The only one I think really understands us if Dr. McCoy. He was honest when i asked him about people looking at you because you are different. That means a lot in my book.

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Samantha Augustine's Journal – Episode 2
Event Horizon

September, 2013

Listening to: OneRepublic “Stop and Stare”

I write this in the predawn hours, as all of my normal waking time is consumed by study and classes. Every day we go from 6am to 10pm with only breaks for food. I have my doubts that we’d retain anything at this pace, and I worked up the courage to ask Professor Xavier that question at one point this month. He indicated that he thought I was correct that some rest helps retention and that was why there4 wasn’t a penalty for missing classes for personal downtime. The problem with that is you run the risk of falling behind.

I’m unsure of what to do with that information. I think I need to go to Golden Bridge on Sundays for church. It’s more that that, though. I haven’t sang or played piano since I got here either. I feel all these parts of me are starting to slip away. This stupid genetic thing is beginning to feel like my whole identity. I wonder If people with disabilities feel like that? You could be the nicest person ever, but most people would just think of you as “Wheelchair woman” or “Blind guy”. I wonder if that’s true. Instead of Samantha, I’m feeling more like “mutant girl”.

I knew moving here would be a change, but I guess it’s more culture shock than I thought. Can my old life and new life converge into something I can live with? Maybe I’m holding onto these activities as ways of holding onto my mom.

After a long week of work, I needed a day off. We’re not scheduled any, but Remy mentioned “concert” and “Sugar Cane” and it was like the clouds parted. Boy, I lot of my classmates were concerned about missing class. I get wanting to do well, I really do. It’s not realistic to believe we can go on at this pace all the time.

Concert went well. Aria and Remy snuck off on a secret date. That’s a strange couple to me. We met some normal kids from Golden Bridge who hooked us up for tickets. I was kind of jealous of them. They don’t have “Mutant Genetics” class or “Public Relations”. I could tell Logan was kind of bummed too when they talked about their football team. I need to talk him. If he wants to play football, he should. Even if he is a hound dog, :p Every semi cute girl that walked by he acts like someone hit the reset button on his brain. Tuck went out with someone like this. He was unfaithful, which wasn’t a shock. Getting that same vibe from him. He also has to work through some things. Whatever keeps him up at night or screaming in his sleep is a major hurdle he has to clear before he can like himself. You have to like yourself before you can like someone else.

Hrm…pretty prophetic there Samantha the scared and confused. Let’s ignore the hypocrisy there, shall we ;)

Lydia let me have it the other day. Sam wanted to be saving people with our powers. I don’t want anything to do with that, and I told Professor Xavier the same. I’m not a soldier! I think that there’s a line between self defense and “Combat Training”. Lydia thought I should support Sam. She had a point, that I should support Sam and not his message. I wanted to make clear I didn’t agree with what he was saying. I fought my mom when she wanted to do martial arts. She made the same argument Professor X is making, self defense. I relented, because mom was passionate about it. I was six at the time. Now I’m 13 and a lot more self aware.

After a few weeks of getting to know everyone, I still have some individual hangups with certain people. It’s not realistic to think we’d all be friends, but it’s hard to work with people who you’re scared of your life around. I feel bad about it. I should make efforts to include others. I have for Victor, and it seems beside Wallace once no one else wants to even try. He only seems to want to do the physical actives classes and he doesn’t seem to get a lot of socialization which he needs more of.

Lydia just mumbled something in Russian in her sleep :) Getting sleepy again so I think I’ll go for now. Here’s the lyrics running through my head at the moment.

Stop and Stare
I think I’m moving,
but I go nowhere.
I know that everyone gets scared,
but I’ve become what I can’t be.

Stop and Stare
You start to wonder why you’re here not there,
and you’d give anything to get what’s fair.
But fair ain’t what you really need.
Oh, can you see what I see?

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Aria Cirillo's Journal - Episode 2
School Sucks

Screaming machines
Dancing fools
Life as coffee spoons

Love is weird
Life is fucked up
I WILL MURDER ANYONE WHO HURTS MY FAMILY
I will protect them

What kind of school has class seven days a week? The one I volunteered for apparently. I think I could handle this were it not for all the weird food. 8I’m going to murder the next fucker who offers me a crepe.* And what type of school doesn’t have coffee? I would be one thing to hide it from us, but no coffee at all? I tore the fucking kitchen apart looking for some. Were it not for Lydia I might have had to level this place. Or at least hold it for ransom. Maybe I’m just being cynical but I can’t help but wondering what her game is. Everyone has an angle, even a friend.

On that thought. What the fuck is Reme’s game? I’m glad he didn’t just try and jump me the moment we were alone. that would have gone over like a lead balloon. And Reme isn’t really that type of guy. He seems to only be interested in freedom. And sleeping late. But I can’t help feel, considering the fact that he has never even made a move, that he is worried about what I would say. I mean I could be reading him wrong, maybe buying tickets to a metal concert is just his way of being friends. Christ on a bike I hate not being able to lie to myself. Reme is fucking afraid. He can kill a man with a touch but he doesn’t have the balls to make a move. I’m not really in place to have a relationship but this pussyfooting bullshit is getting old.

I guess I am one to talk. I catch Logan drunk and balling what do I do? I’m a bitch and hand it to Lidya because I know she is a busybody. But who am I to judge his coping mechanism. I chain smoke and drink coffee all day. And the fact that neither effect me doesn’t change that fact. I find the longer I am here the less I feel like I need my little foibles. Not going to step them. I enjoy them after all. The thing that really hit me though is that I am starting to realize the effect I am having on the rest of them. It hit me on the way to the concert that Sammy is scared shitless of me. Which normally I would be ok with but as it turns out she isn’t a vapid cunt. She is actually a very smart and sweet person. Which is why now I have to find a way to bring her around.

The other thing that made this really clear is Sam’s little crusade. Let’s march on the headmaster’s office and demand to play hero. Good idea fuckhead. And Lidya pushing my fucking family buttons. That bitch. That whole conversation finally made it clear to me what is bothering me about Xavier. It isn’t that he knows nothing about kids. It isn’t that he doesn’t know how to run a school. It is that the fucker is afraid. He can read our thoughts. He has shown that as long as I don’t push it he can hold in my rage. He is probably the most personally powerful man I have ever met and the fucker is afraid of the normals. He is a Master transcendent and he holds us from our true place because he is afraid. Even Wallace with his misguided ideals of being a superhero knows our place. The on advantage of Xavier’s cowardice is that my new fucked up family isn’t out there ricking itself for a world that hates us. I hate to say it but I’d take a bullet—one that could actually hurt me—for any of them, even Scott. The little shit. The little space shit.

Now all I have to hope is that those normals, I need a new word, don’t take Logan up on the idea of inter-school relations.

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Árni Brynarsdottir's Journal - Episode 3
Fires

The following text have been translated from Icelandic.

Wallace and Sam are such idiots! They have been sneaking out to the quarry at night. Training with their powers, unsupervised. They are just asking for trouble! No wonder Wallace is so tired and inattentive in class! I mean. I heard them talk about it
but I didn’t think they would actually do it! Tempting fate, that’s what they are doing.

Professor Xavier came in during breakfast and asked if Sam was serious about wanting to help people. Apparently a Libyan ship had gone aground and caught fire off the coast of Italy. Sam and Wallace was imediatly positive. Xavier asked us to gather on the lawn outside if we where willing to go. He also stressed that this was a voluntary mission, no one should feel forced to go. Most of us did, save for Samantha and Victor. Victor has his reasons, Im sure. Sammy got herself talked into it by Lydia. Logan couldn’t go either. He was in his room, sleeping off the flu.

OMG! Xavier has a private jet! I knew he was rich, but, damn. It’s crazy fast too. The flight from Iceland to Chicago took six hours. We where in Italy in about two. I mean, sure. We have a spacecadet among us. But still!

Lydia put together a plan for us. Sammy and Wallace where to concentrate on putting out the worst of the flames while Me, Lydia, Aria and Piotr where to drop down to the ship to try and save as many as possible. Remy, Scott and Jonothon where kept in reserve while Sam where set to patrol and look out for trouble. It was a good plan.

But it almost went completly awry. The Blackbird (IE. The Jet.) pulled up to the ship and opened it’s back hatch. Oh God, the sound. I have never heard anything so nightmarish. People screaming, pleading, dying, praying and worst of all. Burning. Before any of us could even act a fueltank burst and sent a pillar of flame rocketing towards the sky. The Blackbird took the blast but the flames didn’t need to reach us in the hatch, the superheated air did. Wallace and Lydia where the closest to it. I could hear their skin crackling. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me nauseous.

It was an impressive display of strength when Lydia rose to her feet and told us to move out. The plan almost failed. The explosion must have disoriented most of them. I did my best to help them out and get them back on track. We did do some good in the end though. When the coastguard finally got there, most of the fires where put out. By a combination of Wallace and Aria. When the immediate danger was curbed we moved to saving as many as we could. 180 people. That’s the diffrance we made.

Jesus, Lydia is cool as ice. When we got back on the Blackbird we found that there wheren’t even bandages or wetnaps on there. Why would Xavier send us into danger without even basic medical supplies? Thank god for Sammy and her handbag of holding. Lydia was very concerned about Wallace’s burns, which where pretty bad but it took alittle convincing before she let Sammy and Wallace even look at her wounds.

Damnit. Why must I always say whatever stupid thing comes into my head. I just wanted to help when I pointed out that Aria could shower in the basement showerrooms since they are bigger than the ones upstairs. Aria must hate me.

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Samantha Augustine's Journal – Episode 3
Black or White

October 14th, 2013
Listening to: Kelly Clarkston, “Breakaway”

I told the Professor I wasn’t going to be a soldier. A couple weeks ago I had that conversation with him when Sam got upset about a shooting. Everyone here is so eager to prove themselves. I’d say it’s some macho thing, but I can’t say Macho and Arni in the same sentence. In her case I’m guessing it has to do with genuinely wanting to help. I don’t know, maybe I’m reading people wrong.

The Professor walked in, asking if anyo9ne was serious about wanting to help. A bunch of people stepped up. As the Professor starting explaining about some ship in the Mediterranean, I zoned out. I had already made up my mind. I took a stand two weeks ago. Special forces, soldiers, the hell with that! I headed upstairs to grab my stuff for class when Lydia followed me to our room.

I don’t know what people want from me. Lydia claims she just wanted answers. I could tell there was judgment there, though. I do these things, but I don’t have any control over this stuff. I think and words come out. What’s my power? I feel like a wild tempest of energy. Coming here to get control was a good idea. When Professor X is allowing us to test it without fear, I feel I made the right decision coming here.

I think back on all of these books of powerful women I’ve read. On constant that runs through them is that they’re not afraid. There’s a difference between taking a risk on a business and putting your friends lives in your hands. Also none of them were making these decisions when they were 13 (all fair points, Sammy!)

Lydia’s point was, in essence, that your friends were going to do this. If you’re not there, would you have been able to do something? How bad would you feel? I’d feel terrible.

I gave in. How superior would I feel taking a stand on the bodies of my friends. Professor Xavier shouldn’t be putting us in this spot. Can I get mad at Lydia and Sam and Wallace for wanting to help people, even if it’s a bit naive? No, though peer pressure is crummy. Can I blame our 30 something year old guardian figure for putting that in our faces and saying, “It’s your choice?” Fuck Yes I can.

Maybe Lydia’s not judging me. Perhaps she is only holding up a mirror so I can judge myself. Do I like what I see. Apparently not, as I relented.

Aria stunned me. She asked me to help her with her hair when we were done. I stammered an affirmative. I thought she hated me. Yes, she’s still a bit scary. To be fair to her, she’s done nothing to me for me to be scarred of her for. I texted with her a few times. This one, I think, I might have misjudged on the first impression. (But we’re never wrong, are we Samantha dear? :p )

The “mission” to the Mediterranean was no joke. Lives were being lost right in front of me. I saw Lydia almost die when the door just opened. I’m guessing I’m in shock or I wouldn’t leave my room. Ms. Hunter was shell shocked. Not exactly what she signed up for. I tried to help Wallace, but I didn’t do enough, apparently. It was Aria and Wallace who put out the fire. The rest of us did help with rescuing people.

I remember one boy who looked my age. I was flying towards him as he went under the water. I grasped his outstretched hand and pulled him in the air.

Now that moment? Better than Nationals or anything else I had ever accomplished. Here was one boy who had a chance to live a full life, but only because I was there! Maybe that’s how surgeons or firefighters feel like. If I had been stubborn and stood on principal, this boy would have drowned. I can’t help thinking that if I had been better, how many more lives would have been saved?

The last few days I’ve been reading a little about Churchill & FDR. People whose decisions shaped the world. Would it have been easy to stay on our side of the Atlantic? Clearly. Was it the right thing to do? Clearly not.

Three years ago I was still playing with Barbies and watching Nickelodeon. No I have people’s lives in my hands. I’m sure it’s not fair. Don’t worry, you’re right Samantha. I just get the feeling I’m also wrong….

Lyrics in my head

I’ll spread my wings and learn how to fly.
I’ll do what it takes til I touch the sky.
And I’ll make a wish,
Take a chance,
Make a change,
and breakaway.

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Aria Cirillo's Journal - Episode 3
Ouch!

Family
Is
Really
Everything

B
U
R
N
S

FUCK
IT!
RAGE
ETERNAL!

BEYOND
UNHOLY
RIGHTEOUSNESS!
NEVER
STOP FIGHTING!

I’m going to kill Xavier right after I get done mangling Sam. Christ on a bike! Who did I ass rape in a past life with a piece of rusty rebar to deserve this level of bullshit? Sam and his damn hero complex drag our fucked up little family into the middle of the ocean without life vest or med kits or anything else. Fucking really Charles? Super secret jet and you can’t keep basic medical supplies on board? Great idea. Let’s send them out to the middle of the ocean to save a bunch of helpless bastards. Let’s make the Ice Queen the leader for a mission because Mr. Weather Man is in bed “sick.” *Grow some fucking balls Logan. You could have taken care of the problem in five minutes but your too deep in your own fucking problems to come out and lead like you so wanted to. Which I could have forgiven were it not for the fact that without him Lidya almost got her damn face burnt off. That girl needs to learn not jump into fire when your ability is based on ice! Third-degree burns were not advertised in the admissions letter.

Despite all that though, I think this was exactly what I we needed. We are all so fucked up. The rest of them are starting to understand their powers. I on the other hand have just been reminded that I am a huge slab of muscle. That apparently looks like a troll to an Icelander. There was a time, before That Day I would have jumped all over Arni for that comment. And especially for the using the larger showers in the basement comment. Who you calling big, little bitch? But now, now the more I live with it the more I feel like I am becoming more at peace with who and what I am. The more I change, the easier it is. And the fact that I do it to save my fucked up little family helps a lot.

But who am I kidding? Being a monster run in the family. I wonder at what point Mom was going to mention that her brother is famous scientist who happen to turn into a giant green rage monster. What the fuck is Xavier thinking putting us under the same roof? Dr. Banner, Uncle Banner? – No – seems nice enough. We have a lot in common it seems. Both of attempted suicide at some point. Haven’t thought of that in a long time. The feel of the wind going through my hair. The chain around my neck. My feet hitting the ground and the chain being slack after jumping out of that tree. The taste of Dad’s gun. And the horrible taste of burnt gun powder. There were a few other attempts not long after That Day, but when it became clear none were going to work I gave up. The look on that old lady’s face when she hit me with car was priceless though. I have to wonder though, why does he call it a “thing inside of us.” We are just mutants. I’ve never once anthropomorphised the change. It is just me. I am who I am. I wonder of Dr. Banner is different when he changes. Maybe something to do with the bomb that activated his mutant gene. Maybe it is just him taking the easy way out.

What isn’t easy is making friends. I fucking hate friends. They are just annoying and needy, and piss me off. And I couldn’t live without them. I don’t know how I made it these last several years alone. I know that it is best to be away from people. But I am a social animal. Lidya’s concern for my burns was kind of funny. I didn’t have the heart to tell her they would probably heal in a day. For a girl who doesn’t say much, and doesn’t seem to want to lead, she sure does a lot of it. And she gave a perfectly reasonable answer when I called her on it. At least the coffee is good. I still don’t know what her game is though.

On the other hand my olive branch to Sammy seems to have worked. I couldn’t care less about my hair beyond it being clean and not all over the place but I know Sammy is into the type of thing. It was funny saying she was going to need a stepladder to do it though. I think between her and Lidya I may actually have found close friends. I guess we’ll see. She cares too much though and that is going to get her in trouble. And Lidya and I are going to have to be there to help her out of it.

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Árni Brynarsdottir's Journal - Episode 4
Homecoming

The following text have been translated from Icelandic and mirrored for readabiliy.

Logan ran away. It makes me sad. Really, really sad. But that guy clearly had some problems.
The crying and the drinking attested to that. I can only hope that he comes to his
senses or else, finds whatever solace he seeks.

Cerebro is so annoying sometimes. It (He?) is so clever that I forget to be extra literal
when I speak to him. As if remembering the right fricking words isn’t hard enough.
I was late for math class. Soo embarrasing, I didn’t know where to put my face. I mumbled something
stupid about missunderstanding the computer. Such a lame excuse, everyone must think I’m a moron.

I’ve been looking forward towards the dance all week. Finally, an opportunity to relax and bust a move! I gotta say, being able to hear this well is really convenient. Sammy has gotten into the habit of just saying my name to catch my attention. Alittle like the lords and ladies. “Speak of the devil, and he is already at your door.” Sammy helped me to pick out clothing for the homecoming dance. But she totally snubbed all of my clothes! She had me walking in there practically naked! With only a emerald dress. I have to admit it looked nice but it was so restricting! Oh well, “No pain, no gain”. I guess.

The dance itself was a bust though. Not to say I didn’t have a nice time dancing with Zach, or Pierce. Or the retiree club. But it turned out to be less about the dancing and having a good time, than it was about byzantine social-feudalism. Apparently Zach was not of the right sort so Sammy pulled some strings and the captain of the football team, Pierce, danced with me to undo the damage. Pierce was nice, he didn’t even look at me funny when I told him about the trolls… He is so dreamy…

Lydia had a nice time too it seems. I tried to keep my concentration elsewhere when. No. That’s her business. Hush my mouth.

Wally felt alittle on the fringe it seems. He did linedance with me and the fedorasquad alittle. But he seemed kinda lost. There was that total bitch who only talked to him as a means to get at Sammy. Not to say I where perfect friends with eveyone back home, but are girls really that cold-hearted here? Some are, it seems.

Aria seemed bored. Untill Remmy showed up atleast. :) Remmy just walked in, all cool like, swept her up and got the DJ to change his mixtape for a CD. Too bad. They where just getting around to “Summer of ’69” and “99 luftballons.”

Then the evening went to shit. Sammy is a nice, kind girl. But she doesn’t know how to deal with Viktor. She tried to bargain with him, to be calm and rational when that is not at all what he is used to. I assume some guilt here. If I had not had the bad grace of not knowing the strict social apartheid, she might not have had reason to start talking with other boys. To be fair, I might not be that good at explaining what I meant when I tried to explain Viktor’s point of view. I felt her zone out when I got to the fang-goats.

Viktor stormed out in a huff, Remmy got the group together to go after him. He was liable to tear appart whoever had the missfortune of crossing his path. This happened too. By the time we got out there he was busing himself smashing up cars. Lydia tried to talk to him and she almost got a facefull of carborator for her trouble. Then that australian kid tossed fucking fire on Viktor and all hell broke lose. Lydia stepped infront of Viktor and took the brunt of the blast. Those where some nasty burns. At the same moment Viktor fucking pounced on Lydia, intent of tearing her appart. Thank God Aria managed to get Viktor under control . Thank Christ, The Blackbird was stationed close by.

Then the buckethead appeared. His voice was deep, very deep and resonant. As I fetched Sammy, she was still dancing as all of this went down. I sadly had to tear her away. As I did, buckethead told the flametosser that he did the right thing attacking Viktor. That was when I saw it. Someone was lying, cruhed under the car that Victor had tossed at Lydia.

Sammy wanted to know what whas going on. I told her I would tell her later, but she could probably guess from the destruction. She was pretty shaken by the sight. I need to talk to her

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Samantha Augustine's Journal - Episode 4
Ruination

Listening to: Just Close your Eyes by Waterproof Blonde

I….

WHY IS EVERYTHING I DO SO GODDAMNED IMPORTANT NOW!!!!! Why is everything life or death? Why do my actions cause people to live in Italy and die in Golden Bridge? I’m just 13! I can’t be realistically asked to never make a mistake again. The stakes are too high! I can’t….

I just wanted to help Victor learn what it was like to be a person, not an animal like it sounds like he’s lived. Everyone seems really good at telling me what they’d do. They talk about pack dominance and stuff I really don’t understand. I try and live my life like I’ve been taught, everyone deserves a chance to be included. We’re all god’s children. Or at least I used to think so.

I’d scream “It’s not fair!” a thousand times if I thought someone would hear me and that it would change anything. Lydia would remind me that life isn’t fair. She’s doing that now as I look at her burned and bruised body. Sure, every action does have consequences. I can’t bear to look at Victor right now but I know he’s burned and angry. I wish he would have just taken it out on me. I at least deserved it for hurting him like I did.

And someone’s dead just because I couldn’t understand the time bomb I was negotiating. I just had to dance with the cute, nice guy. I thought he had left. I…

I’m coming to the conclusion that Xavier was trying to convince me of from the moment I got here. Your dreams of a normal life? Like leaves on a windy autumn day, they dance just out of reach and are gone before you can react. Olympics? Gilliard? Nope. Now my dreams have to factor in “Collateral Damage” and “Exposure” mathematics equations.

Oh, and thanks Logan for standing up and trying to be a leader and then just running away. Maybe he’s the smart one. If you’re not here, you won’t be presented with ‘Xavier options’ where he lets us know how we could help if we want to, but your peers will judge you if you don’t think you’re up to it, or heaven forbid you feel like it isn’t your place.

Things were going well. Victor was somewhat social, dancing with Wallace was fun, meeting Hillary was good and I met a really nice guy. Someone who would ignore stigma to do the right thing. I helped socially reboot Arni!

But tonight will forever be remembered as the day Samantha betrayed Victor’s trust and was a selfish biyatch. And someone else doesn’t get the chance to make any more mistakes again. I already feel like I have to make up for all the lives mom would have saved. What’s another one? It’s someone’s son or daughter, Samantha. One that, just like you was going out to have a good time and then never comes home.

If I think of it as that, I’ll be too paralyzed with fear to leave this mansion. If I think of it like a ledger, I’m dehumanizing the people impacted. So my options are scared to death, or an emotionless robot? The plane is landing now. Professor Xavier is going to read me the riot act. I’m not too worried though. How much worse can I feel about myself?

As I get ready to step off the plane, I feel like I’m at a crossroads. Ready or not, I have to grow up. I may never like what I see in the mirror again, but I have to get to a place where I can sleep without guilt. I don’t know how I get there from where I’m standing.

Lyrics in my head:

Deceived by my eyes,
and all I was told I should see.
Opinions not mine,
the person they taught me to be.
One night in the dark,
a vision of someone I knew.
And in the darkness I saw,
someone say I’m you.

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